As leaders, we set the emotional tone for our teams. Most of us never notice we’re doing it.
A reel in my social media feed asked a question that got me thinking. Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?
A thermometer reads the temperature. The thermostat changes it.
The Marine Officer’s Point Landed
Be the thermostat. Be the person that sets the temperature, that sets the conditions… if they’re negative, make them positive. Be the light. Be a person of character. You’ll never go wrong standing up for what’s right.
I learned this lesson early in my career quite by accident, on an ordinary Monday.
The Monday the Room Went Quiet
Early in my career, I landed my first leadership role. Most of the team had been doing the work longer than I had. On top of our regular load, we’d been handed a special project. More work, more deadlines, more pressure. I felt it.
Most Mondays I arrived already behind. I’d walk fast to my desk and get to work. My greetings were friendly enough, a good morning here and there, but I didn’t linger. There was too much to do.
One Monday I heard it before I saw it. Talking and laughter, coming from our office down the hall. I walked in the way I always did, and the room went quiet. Heads down. Back to work.
I didn’t say anything, but it stayed with me all week. The only thing that had changed was me coming through the door. I’d never looked at it that way before, and it stopped me. I set the tone. I came in all business, so the team followed. That wasn’t a place people looked forward to returning to. I started picturing how they felt on a Sunday night, knowing what Monday held.
The Sunday Night Test
The next Monday, I took a different approach. I slowed down on the way in. I made eye contact, and I meant the good mornings. After I grabbed a coffee, I made the rounds, not to check on the work, but to check on the people. How was their weekend, their family? Was the pressure getting to them? Was anyone stuck, or carrying something I could help with?
Nothing changed overnight. People were guarded at first, maybe wondering what I was up to. Over the weeks, though, the talking and laughter came back. One morning I heard it again as I came down the hall, and this time, when I walked in, it didn’t stop. Naturally, I joined in.
We never talked about any of it, and I’ll never know for certain. But I believe the way I came through that door each morning reached all the way back to how my team felt on Sunday night.
Most of us never get to see our effect on a room. I saw mine by accident, and it changed how I walked in for the rest of my career.
Your Mood Travels Whether You Mean It To or Not
This isn’t only my read of one office. Sigal Barsade, an organizational behavior researcher, studied what she called the ripple effect. Working with managers in a controlled setting, she found that the moods people carried into a group spread to everyone else, and the spread showed up in the work itself. Positive contagion improved cooperation and lowered conflict. Negative contagion did the reverse.
The room catches what the leader carries. Come in tense and rushed, and the tension travels with you. Show up present and warm, and that travels too.
The Part You Control by Monday
How we do what we do — how we lead — is as important as what we achieve.
That principle sits at the center of Lead with Light™. The tone a leader sets coming through the door is part of the how. It’s also one of the few parts you can change by next week.
You can’t redesign your culture by Monday; however, you can change how you walk into it.
How You Enter the Room
Here’s a small practice. Each step is a piece of virtue-driven action. I’ve named the virtue so you can see not only what you’re doing, but what you’re building, as well.
- Ask yourself the question. This takes honesty. Imagine the people you lead answering with complete candor: how do you imagine they feel Sunday evening about seeing you Monday morning? Sit with the real answer, not the one you’d prefer.
- Notice how you arrive. This takes accountability. For one week, pay attention to your pace, your expression, and your first words when you walk in. Watch what the room does. Owning your effect on it, rather than explaining it away, is where change starts.
- Change one thing. This takes purposefulness. This next week, pick a single adjustment and make it every day. Slow your pace. Make eye contact and mean the greeting. Make the rounds to check on the people, not the work. One change: chosen on purpose and done consistently.
- Give it time. This takes patience. Don’t expect a different room overnight. People may be guarded at first, unsure what changed. Consistency beats intensity. Watch for the small signals over a few weeks, the conversation that keeps going after you walk in.
Four steps. Four virtues in action. One ordinary Monday.
Parting Thoughts
You may never get to see your full effect on a room. I saw mine once, by accident, and it reshaped how I led from then on. The project plans and deadlines mattered. What mattered just as much was the tone I carried through the door, and what it did to a Sunday night I never witnessed.
Be the thermostat. Set the temperature you’d want to walk into yourself.
Be clear. Be kind. Lead with Light! ✨
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